Where Does the Time Go?

Nineteen years ago today, my son Ned was born. Where has the time gone? He is now a freshman at MSU Moorhead, a smart, attractive young man who still says "I love you" before ending a phone conversation with me. He has given us so much joy and laughter, tears and pain. I can remember when he was a little boy, a girl about 4 years old in the grocery store mentioned what a cute girl he was. When I corrected her she said "Oh, he can't be a boy, not with those long lashes," Looking back at pictures he always had a smile on his face and had such a sunny disposition.

I still remember the day he was born. My mother-in-law came into my room while I was holding Ned. She said that time goes by so quickly, and that I should cherish every moment I have with him.

"I remember when I had Mark, She said "my mother-in-law stood at the foot of my bed and said before you know it, you will be the one looking at your daughter-in-law and first grandchild."

I know (and pray) that it will be several more years before I will be standing at the foot of that bed. In the meantime, I will continue to cherish and love that little bundle of joy that came into our lives 19 years ago.

Queen for the Day

I am not sure what it is about me that never craved having a daughter. I have a great relationship with my Mom, I grew up with 3 older sisters and 2 younger brothers. I love buying frilly, pink dresses for my niece I was a Mary Kay Consultant for many years and enjoy getting dresses up. I guess I am waiting for my son's to bring me home a ready made daughter (once the hard work is completed)!

Well meaning friends would say "Don't you want a daughter?" Usually this question would come up doing our neighborhood weekly Friday afternoon "Happy Hours" while we idly watched our kids chase each other through the back yard of this week's hostess. Watching the young female species shriek and yell as they were spayed with water balloons, I could honestly say "Not really".

For me it is simple. I like being the Queen! Although I admit that all those male hormones racing around our house (even the dog is a male)is sometimes a bit much, I love being the only female. I love it when my husband tells the boys "Is that appropriate language in front of your mother?" I love it when they come up to me and give me a big hug and say "I love you". I love attending their hockey, lacrosse and baseball games. I love the presents they give me - how many daughters would buy the DVD movie "Old School" for their Mom's anniversary. It's all about Mom!

Being surrounded by males, I am much more likely to take time for myself - to get a pedicure, go out to lunch with friends, read a good book.

I am so proud of my sons, I have never felt a void in having a daughter. My sons have taught me not to take things so seriously. That sometimes just being in the same room with people is as bonding and important as sharing all of your feelings.

I have always felt that the best conversations I have had with my son's was when we were driving somewhere. Shoulder to Shoulder, we were able to share confidences and concerns.

That Perfect Man

Today is my 22nd wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe that I have reached the point where I have been married longer then I have lived with my parents. With our first son attending college, it makes it seem even more surreal, since I remember so clearly what it was like in college

I read the following from another blog titled typical guy, atypical situation
and am so thankful that I have found "That someone" he references. Here is an part from his blog:

Find " that someone." Find the one person that was meant for you. The person that gets you in every way imaginable. The person that, when you're with them, the whole world disappears. Be open to finding them in the place you would never expect. Once you find them, give them your heart. Cherish them for who they are, and don't try to change them. Stay up all night, just talking. Don't ever fight dirty, it only leaves things to be regretted. Be honest with them always. If they know your deepest, darkest secrets and still love you, that means they are the one. Never go to bed angry. Keep them on the front of your mind, and the tip of your tongue at all times. Talk on the phone for hours, like in junior high. Open up to them. Make love, anytime, anywhere. Make them the most important thing in your life, and they will reciprocate. Always, ALWAYS carry yourself in their absence as you would in their presence. Never give up on them. Stay at their side, through thick and thin. Never be complacent in your relationship. There's always something new to learn about the person, and a new way to show them you love them.

I am thankful that I have found "That Perfect Man" and he considers me his perfect woman. What more could one ask for?

Wings And Roots

You are going off to college. It is a day that I have been preparing for almost 19 years. From the time the doctor first put you in my arms minutes after you were born, I knew we wer both moving towards this moment.
There is so much I want to tell you, so much I want you to know. In the middle of the day I wonder "did I remember to add the dryer sheets to the list" and during the night I wake up wondering, "I never told him that when his heart feels like it is broken, it will be ok". I think back over the past years and pray that what your father and I have taught you about courage, and sticking up for yourself andn others, not beinig afraid to ask question and to know that no matter what happens, we will always be there for you, and how very proud your Dad and I are of you - the boy you were and the man you are becoming...
You grandmother has a cross stich hanging in her living room that says "Good parents give their children Roots and Wings. Roots to know where home is, wings to fly away and exercise what's been taught them."
-- Jonas Salk
We have given you the roots that you need to be successful, now it is time to give you wings:


A FINAL GIFT: LETTING GO
(to a teen leaving home)
Boats in the harbor are safe near shore
Far from the unknown sea,
But just as boats were made for more,
It's the same with you and me.
Those who would anchor their teen with a stone
In hopes of preventing a wreck,
Find that their fears are never undone
Andthe stone ends up weighting both necks.
So I give to you a port called home
Where your ship was built so strong,
And if you need to harbor here,
You know that you belong.
And I give to you the maps you'll need
That you may set the course
For places that I'll never see,
So go without remorse.
Tilting your sails into the wind
With hope, and vision and courage--
I kiss you once, then touch your chin
And wish you bon voyage!
-Michael H. Popkin

Letting go

We have been moving towards this day since the day I first held you in my arms, minutes old, already stretching, looking and trying to figure out this new place you suddenly found your self in. As a toddler, you were never one to cling, but always looking ahead and moving forward. The first time you were on skies, you went flying down the hill with total abandonment Whee, look at me.....

Tomorrow, we will pack the car and take you to college. The shopping is done, the money is in the bank, clothes are packed and once again you are careening towards your future. I keep wanting to hold you back, wanting to tell you one more important thing that I am sure will change your life.

I remember when my parents took me to college. The two hour trip seemed so loooong as they tried to cram in more advice and comments. I wish now I had a tape recorder of what they said, so I could play it for you. Did they feel this same sense of confusion - did we do enough? Did we do too much? How will he handle his first cold, his first test, his first... And under all of it is the thought not how will he handle it, but how will I handle these firsts when I am not there to see them.

I can only trust that God has you in his hand. That the same God who guided you through the first 18 years of your life will continue to be there. He will be the one to lift you up when you fall, to comfort you when you cry, and to share the joys and happiness.


I used to read you the book "I'll love you Forever" In it a Mom sings to the little boy each night "I'll love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you will be" She continues to sing as he gets older, and even when he has his own house, she climbs through the window and when she knows he is asleep, she takes him in her arms and sings I'll love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you will be"

So I guess it doesn't matter how far you go, I will always love you forever and like you for always, as long as I am living my baby you will be.

Taking time

The following is from a Blog by Kennny. It really touched me and I wanted to share it with you

A broken man's plea

Make sure you appreciate your lives. Thank God every day for the blessings he's given you. Tell friends and family every day exactly what they mean to you. Enjoy the smallest things in life. Give someone a hug. High five somebody. Go to the beach. Walk under the stars. Walk in the rain. Make a snow angel. Play a board game. Make someone a CD. Take a road trip. Go to a ballgame. Have a drink, but don't waste time being wasted, life is better experienced without an altered state of consciousness. Be a crying shoulder. Play with the little ones in the family. Tell a joke. Give someone a piggy-back ride. Play outside. Be early. Run late. Sleep in. Get dressed up. Take long showers. Watch movies. Go out to dinner. Order out. Watch a sunrise. Marvel at a sunset. Go to the ocean. Learn something new. Spend some money on yourself. Spoil a kid. Make time for you. Go to church. Write down your thoughts. Meet new people. Laugh at yourself. Go camping. Travel the world. Don't hold grudges. Go bowling. See a show. Feel the grass under your feet. Take a swim. Play on a swing. Never stop learning. Wear pajamas all day. Complement someone. Smile. Say hi to someone you don't know. Read a book. Go for a drive. Build something. Tell a secret. Spoil dinner. Have a slurpee. Surprise someone. Surprise yourself.Find " that someone." Find the one person that was meant for you. The person that gets you in every way imaginable. The person that, when you're with them, the whole world disappears. Be open to finding them in the place you would never expect. Once you find them, give them your heart. Cherish them for who they are, and don't try to change them. Stay up all night, just talking. Don't ever fight dirty, it only leaves things to be regretted. Be honest with them always. If they know your deepest, darkest secrets and still love you, that means they are the one. Never go to bed angry. Keep them on the front of your mind, and the tip of your tongue at all times. Talk on the phone for hours, like in junior high. Open up to them. Make love, anytime, anywhere. Make them the most important thing in your life, and they will reciprocate. Always, ALWAYS carry yourself in their absence as you would in their presence. Never give up on them. Stay at their side, through thick and thin. Never be complacent in your relationship. There's always something new to learn about the person, and a new way to show them you love them.Guys-find that girl. Find the girl you think is more beautiful on both the outside and inside than anyone on the planet. And tell her you think that of her. Make her feel like the queen of the world. Give her flowers, not on Valentine's Day, not on her birthday, on some random Thursday when she won't expect it. Never miss a chance to tell her what she means to you. Pull her close at night. Remember what she wore the night you met. Study her eyes, they could be the softest brown, or the most electric green, but they are unique to her and are beautiful regardless. Tell her that you miss her. Hold her face when you kiss her. Brush her hair. Pick her up and swing her around when she hugs you. Find the most unthinkable way to show her that you love her. Pay attention to everything she says. Cook for her, mac'n'cheese or fillet mignon, she won't care. Surprise her with something she always wanted but never got. Don't get jealous. Trust her completely. Always pay. Don't back down from showing her affection anywhere. Complement her on the way she looks, every single day. Take her dancing. Be her rock. Give her the life she always dreamed of, no matter what the cost. No matter how tough she is, always treat her as the most fragile thing ever. Make it so all girls are jealous of her. Give her space when she needs it. Take note of everything she likes, and dislikes; favorite food, favorite song, favorite place, etc. Bring her breakfast in bed. Plan ahead, the more thought she sees that you put into something, the more she will appreciate it. Go shopping with her, and pretend you like it. Come to terms with the fact that she IS more important than your boys. Think before you speak. Wear out the phrase "I love you" like it is going out of style.Ladies-find that guy. You have it slightly easier. Let him make you his world. Let him do all of the above. Realize, that to an extent, all guys are the same. We are all dumb, clumsy, insecure, jealous idiots. So don't settle for just any one of us. But, when you find the right one, he will treat you right. Even though we tend to fumble through our words, try to keep sight of our good intentions. Jealousy and insecurity come quickly and naturally to us, so find ways to make him know that he is your one and only. But understand that our hearts are probably even more fragile than yours are. Call him "your man." We love that. Greet him with a big hug and a kiss every time he walks through the door. Only dance with him, and no one else. Help him shop for clothes, we don't care how we look, and whatever looks good to you, looks good to us. Make him feel more important than anyone else. Come up behind him and give him a hug. Wake him up with a kiss. Let him do little things for you, like hang a shelf or work on your car, it sounds dorky, but he lives for it. Be patient with him, because he is kinda like a little kid. Laugh at his jokes. Pretend to be interested in his stupid stories. As tough as we are, we really depend on your support. Bury your face in his chest. Tell him what you need, we are terrible at figuring that out. Spend time with him. Tell him you love him EVERY day.Treasure it all, because tomorrow isn't guaranteed...

"Ode to Mommy"

I don't really recall my first Mother's Day. I am sure it was lovely with a brunch at the Club and a bouquet of flowers. I do, however, vividly recall my second Mother's Day, more fondly now then I did at the time.

It came during a very sad time. My father in law had recently died and my husband Mark, son Ned and I had went with his mother to the Florida Keys to clean out and sell the house that she and my father in law had lived in part time. It was called "Land's End" and was truly at the end of the land. It was on a point on Marathon Key and had a beautiful view of the ocean. We had many happy memories there - it was where we had honeymooned when we were first married, the place where Ned was more then likely conceived...

We had been there almost a week. Cleaning out clothes, hauling things to the Salvation Army or the local Thrift store or just packing up to be sent back to Minnesota. The memories were bittersweet, all the more because we knew a place that we had treasured would soon be gone.

We were to fly home that Sunday. We were all exhausted both emotionally and physically. Ned had come down with an ear infection so he wasn't cranky and restless.

It was a long drive from the Key's to Miami where we were catching our plane. At the gas station, Mark came back out the to car with a rose for me and for his Mom, always the thoughtful husband and son. "Don't worry honey, after we drop Mum off at home, I will take you and Ned out to eat to celebrate Mother's Day" he promised.

We had smooth sailing all the way to the airport. We checked our luggage and found out that our seats were together, but the last row of the plane. Not a problem we thought. We will had Ned (who was almost 2 at the time) be able to spread out between the three of us. We were sure he would sleep during the 4.5 hour trip home.

The first inkling that things were not going to be so rosy came upon take off. The Captain came over the loudspeaker and said we might have some turbulence, but don't worry, we have it under control. The flight attendants served the meal and Ned settled down in Mark's lap after finishing a large cup of milk. He looked like a little angel. About an hour later, we ran into turbulence. The plane was shaking and shuddering like a bucking bronco. Poor Ned was screaming much to the dismay of his parent and Grandmother. The people ahead of us were complaining about the noise. Oh, if it had only remained that way.

Ned suddenly decided he only wanted his Mom. He dove over Grandma and landed in my lap and promptly threw up all over me. Using amamzing accuracy in such a small space he managed only to get me.

Did I mention that I was 8.5 months pregnant? Did I mention that faced with throw up, I tend to get sick myself? Did I mention that this was the one time I did not have a carry on with a change of clothes? Did I mention that Ned was happy as a clam once his tummy was empty?
The turburlance was so bad, the flight attendants couldn't get up. I soon felt a warm wet towel tossed my way, followed by another one. Once things settled down, I was able to go to the restroom and attempt to clean up. When we finally got to the parking ramp elevator, two girls who were getting one with us started gagging "What is that smell?" They asked. "Ode to Mommy." Mark replied.

Needless to say, we didn't go out that night. I have never had a shower that felt so good. My mother in law's parting words were "Just think Honey, next year has to be better."

A Mother's Day

This is my 18th mother's day. It is hard to believe that 18 years ago, I was holding a newborn baby boy and this year I am holding an almost grown up man. So much has happened over those past 18 years. Tears, laughter, pain and joy. I can still see the sweet smile of a mischievous 2 year old looking out at me behind my son's eyes. The lovely card he gave me reminds me of the grubby card he made especially for me in kindergarten. The two little boys stopping by the side of our yard, asking me if they could pick the pretty purple flowers, reminds me of the bouquets of dandelions I have received over the years.

I look at my son and in an instant can see the young boy he was and the man he has yet to become. As he stands at the threshold of a new life, I remember the day he was born and my mother in law saying to me. "I can remember when Mark's grandmother stood at the foot of my bed when he was born and said 'treasure the time, because it goes by so fast'" Truer words were never said. But what she didn't say was that every year, we store up more memories to treasure.

Things I learned at the hockey rink

One Saturday, when I was working on our taxes, I tried to figure out what hockey has cost us over the past 12 years that he has played. Bad idea, could have bought a second home, gone on some awesome vacations or just put money aside for college. But then I started thinking of at the education my son got for that $25,000 plus change:

• Life and hockey aren't always fair but you need to make the best of what you get
• It doesn't pay to argue with the ref or your parents. It never changes their mind and the penalty is often increased.
• Going all out in skating and life is great, as long as you know how to stop
• The early bird gets the worm ( or the best seat in the locker room)
• Practice may not make perfect, but you can perfect your slapshot if you practice enough
• Doing your best doesn't always mean you will win, but it makes you feel better just the same
• Don't leave your hockey gear in the car overnight when the temp is below 0
• You can always count on Mom to cheer you on, no matter how bad or good a game you had.

All in all, not a bad education for the money. I got so much more out of it, the chance to watch my son grow and mature not only as a hockey player but as a young man, ready to go out on his own.