Time Warp

Today is my son Ross' 18th birthday. As I was walking in to Cub for birthday doughnuts, it hit me. I am way to young to have my youngest kid an 18 year old - an adult to the rest of the world. When did this happen? As my sister-in-law Cynthia wrote to an e-mail, "Aren't we still in our 30's? It seems to be one of those alternative realities - the older my kids get, the younger I feel. I remember when I was a kid for about 10 years, I thought my Dad was 40, and that was OLD! Of course, now that I am in my mid-high 40's, 40 doesn't seem to be that old at all.

Don't get me wrong. I love the age I am now. I am feel confident about who I am, I am not afraid to state my opinions and really don't care what perfect strangers think of me. I laugh out loud at jokes, I talk to myself while walking down the street and I sing in the car (sometimes with the windows open).

I remember when my youngest brother turned 40, I said to my Mom, I can't believe my youngest brother is 40. She said "How do you think I feel". Well Mom, now I think I know.

Good Grades = Free College?

Growing up, academics were always stressed in my family. Being the "social butterfly" of the family, my grades hovered more in the low B range instead of the high A range of my three older sisters. It was not a question of if we were going to college, but rather where. OK, the where was not really a question. As my Dad told me. "You can go where ever you want for college, but I am only paying for Valpo." Which really streamlined the decision process for me.

We will have two kids in collage this fall. One in a private school (good old Valpo) and the other in a state school. I am well aware of the cost of tuition for both private and public education. That being said, I think MN Governor Pawlenty's idea to give free college tuition to the top 25% of students in Minnesota is a bad idea. Here are the highlights of the plan

Nearly all students in the top 25 percent of their high school class, or
with comparable admission test scores, would get two years free at the
University of Minnesota or Minnesota State Colleges and Universities system.
• Two more years of free tuition would be available to eligible students who
major in science, technology, engineering or math.
• Households with adjusted gross income of $150,000 or less would be eligible.
• Students would have to maintain a B average and attend full time.

The thought behind the plan is that students will work harder if they have an incentive. I agree with the premise, just not the outcome. I feel the money would be much better spent on programs that encourage people to improve their grades - period. The SCSU Scholar Blog has a great posting on the program and how a similar plan has worked (or hasn't) in Georgia.

The Excelsior Rotary club is on the right track regarding this issue. They have a program called STRIVE, that encourages seniors in high school to study and work towards goals. The program started a couple of years ago, and this year they gave a $2,000 and $1,000 scholarship to the two kids in the program who improved their GPA over the year before. The Rotarians met with the students every other week for about an hour. The topics varied from setting goals, careers and attitude. Each session a Rotarian would speak about their particular career path, and how they have been successful. At the lunch honoring the STRIVE program, I had a chance to talk to the people who were involved. I knew how much impact it had on the kids, what I didn't realize was the impact on the adults who participated.

Ross was involved in the program and received one of the scholarships. More important then the money was the chance to interact with adults who also believed in him. Where at first, he was reluctant to go, as the months progressed he eagerly looked forward to the meetings. Not only did his grades improve, but his confidence, especially around adults also increased.

As the Georgia program has shown, it isn't much of an incentive to give kids scholarships that they really haven't earned. Let's give the money to organizations like the Rotary who will take the money and make a difference. Or, use the money to give interest free loans to kids who have shown an improvement in their grades and who really want to learn. I am not saying that kids who get good grades don't earn them, I am just saying lets give the kids an incentive to learn and to strive.

The Places You'll Go

Tonight was one of those nights that you think about off and on for years. It is my youngest son Ross' graduation from high school. It was a wonderful ceremony. The speeches were inspirational and had just the right touch of humor. The graduates (all 597) of them looked great in their royal blue gowns. As Ross walked across the stage, I thought of that beautiful September morning when we first watched him get on the bus to go to Kindergarten. Who would have thought the years would go so quickly by.

I am so proud of him, for so many reasons. He is a bright, articulate, attractive young man. Through hard work and persistence he was accepted to the college of his choice, my alma mater Valparaiso University. It hasn't been easy for any of us, but tonight I felt especially proud of not all that he has accomplished, but all I know that he will accomplish in the years to come.

One of the commencement speakers said "This class will do big things." I know everyone says that, but in my heart, I know that especially one young man is destined for great things. He has the persistence, the courage and the conviction to do what is right. He is not afraid to question, and challenge those around us.

Ross, I tip my hat to you. I am so proud to be able to say that you are my son. As you move into your future, don't be afraid to be yourself, you are an incredible person and I can't wait to see what you accomplish in the future.

Dr. Seuss has always said it best:

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!You're
off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your
shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.
You'll get mixed up, of course,as you already know.
You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life'sa Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So ...be your name Buxbaum
or Bixby or Brayor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

Mirror Images Laura VanRyan & Whitney Cerak

It sounded like a movie of the week plot. A van of college kids are returning to campus and are involved in a horrific crash and two girls who look uncanny alike are mistaken for each other. Here is part of the article from the Star Tribune (June 1)

Families stunned by mistaken identities of Taylor University crash victims
Associated Press
CALEDONIA, Mich. -- Whitney Cerak and Laura VanRyn looked remarkably alike, both attractive young women with blond hair, similar facial features and the same build and height. They were together the night of April 26, returning from banquet preparations with a group from Taylor University, when a tractor-trailer slammed into their university van, peeling off the side and killing five people. Cerak's family was told their 18-year-old was among the dead. VanRyn's parents were told their 22-year-old daughter was alive but seriously injured and in a coma. The VanRyns kept vigil at the young woman's bedside for weeks, but as she gained consciousness, she began saying things that didn't make sense. This week, they discovered that the recovering patient wasn't their daughter at all. She was Whitney Cerak.

I can't imagine the pain the two families have been through the past several weeks. Whitney's parents held a funeral and thought they had said their final goodbye's, Laura's family had brought who they thought was their daughter, closer to home to be close by. Laura's family had a wonderful blog that documents their love and care for Whitney over the past 5 weeks. What a blessing that family is to Whitney and her family. From the blog, you get a feeling of a family that truly loved their daughter/sister, but who also have a strong faith. I pray that their faith may uplift them as they deal with the loss of their loved one, and also for the continued healing for Whitney.